2023 End-of-Year Reflection

Holiday greetings! 

I’m writing from my barracks room (apartment, more accurately) on Camp Foster in Okinawa, Japan. It’s a dreary day by Okinawa standards—cool, wet, and a bit foggy—perfect for snuggling up inside with eggnog, gingerbread cookies, a laptop, and my last few holiday postcards. From my window, I can see the Naval Hospital where I work, just across the parking lot; beyond that, the city of Chatan and the ocean along Okinawa’s western coastline. Inside, all around me, I have maps and Oki-inspired art, letters from family and friends, plants that keep outgrowing their pots, and mementos of a year well spent. 

tl;dr: Okinawa is incredible; the Navy is suiting me; I’m excited for what lies ahead! Happy 2024! 

For those who prefer the extended cut: 

Work 

Sometimes I pause, in awe of the fact that I work in a hospital, that I live in Okinawa. How incredible that joining the Navy got me here! In January, I began working in our Substance Abuse Rehabilitation Program clinic, doing on-the-job training for group therapy. In May, I transitioned to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health clinic across the hall. We had high hopes of starting some children’s groups, but due to staffing shortages of providers, I mainly did administrative clinic work instead. I enjoyed helping the clinic prepare for our Joint Commission reaccreditation in June. 

In August, I began studying for the advancement exam and was happy to put an end to that in the end of September. I went from CAMH to Outpatient Mental Health. While this is where I was initially trained when I arrived last November, the transition was a bit tricky. I had much to relearn. Our roles were shifting amidst efforts to increase training and opportunities to do behavioral health work (versus front-desk work and taking vitals). Our directorate—comprised of all 3 clinics—had been experiencing significant turnover and leadership change, and the ongoing transition as we onboarded new providers and corpsmen took patience. 

In late November, I learned that I’d scored high enough on the exam to be advanced to HM2 (E-5). I was “frocked” –i.e., allowed to start wearing the rank—on December 1st. This change justifies a transition that was already in progress; I became our clinic’s Assistant Leading Petty Officer in the fall, with the expectation that I will become the acting LPO in February when my current supervisor departs. I’m excited, but I also have much to learn in the clinic and in the Navy in general; having been in for just over 2 years, I’m still very much a “boot.”

I’m excited to build my military understanding through the Naval Studies Certificate program, an accelerated 5-course series offered through the US Naval Community College. I was accepted this fall and will begin in January. I’m also hoping to complete EMT training later this year to build my corpsman skills.

It’s sometimes hard for me to explain exactly what I do as a BHT (behavioral health technician), since so much of my work is not specific to my role. I’m happy to report that I’m finally starting to screen acute walk-in patients to OMH. I’ve been leading a weekly 90-minute Mindfulness group since April. My first real introduction to the topic was in Social Psychology taught by Dr. Ellen Langer (who wrote the book Mindfulness, literally) in the fall of 2003. It’s been very enjoyable to keep learning and curating exercises for others while building my own skills. I am expecting to begin a Dialectical Behavior Therapy group for OMH soon. Exciting stuff. 

All in all, I’ve enjoyed my first year here, and I extended my orders from two years to three. I look forward to staying until November 2025 (or beyond).

Navy Life (or, becoming an adult again)

As I described last year, the transition from training to my first command meant navigating the gap between age peers and rank peers as I tried to make friends. It meant being subject to the various rules that guide one’s life—based on interesting combinations of rank, age, and marital status. I began my time here in a shared suite, without a car, living behind a fence. 

 

Still, Oki winter made for weather cool enough to start exploring off base on foot and using inter-base shuttles and local bus lines. I went on several of the tours offered through the Marine Corps Community Services. Over time, I made more friends and had opportunities to start hiking, going to the beach and museums, and exploring Okinawan food and culture.

 

In March, I had been here the requisite 90 days to request command permission for a driver’s license and vehicle. For my first-ever car purchase, I leaned into Oki’s colorful cube car trend and chose a rose-gold (OK, call it pink) Honda Life. It’s an adorable little kei car with personality, and it opened up the island for me. I look forward to many more adventures in “ma vie en rose.” 

Later in the spring, as I was submitting a request to live off-base, I was given the opportunity to move from my room in the Bachelor Enlisted Quarters to the Bachelor Officer Quarters across the street. Though I’m not an officer, people are shuffled around based on supply and demand. This meant trading a cozy suite with limited storage space, a suitemate (and her over-far-too-often boyfriend), and a partial kitchen for a private apartment-style room with my own bedroom, living room, full kitchen, and storage space. My quality of life improved immediately with space to have a friend over for conversation, more cooking flexibility, and no resentment about the whose turn it was to buy toilet paper or scrubbing the shower. 

 

It's amazing what a difference some freedom and privacy can do. Having a car and a kitchen meant that basic tasks – like dropping off a package at the post office or cooking dinner – didn’t require advance strategizing. They also made me feel like a grown-up again. 

 

Now that I’m a frocked E-5, there could come a time when I’m required to live off base due to barracks occupancy levels. To avoid a short-notice eviction, I’ve been exploring off-base apartments and will likely move outside the fence in January. While I’ll miss the convenience of being just steps away from a gym and the hospital, I’m looking forward to the possibility of  even more freedom, more space, and closer proximity to the ocean.  

Dragon Boat

A major part of my life this past year has been dragon boat, or haarii, a sport deeply engrained in Okinawa’s history. February brought three weeks of try-outs for the Navy Women’s Dragon Boat Team, Nirai Kanai, waking before 04:00 to practice paddling at the marina fifteen minutes away. I made the team, and Dragon Boat became a significant part of my life for the next seven months.

 

Our “big boat” race, for which we’d prepared over 3 months of early mornings, was held May 5 in Naha. Our team had two extra members, one of whom became injured, and I was asked to fill the role of kaneuchi – the drummer/gong-ringer who helps keep the beat set by the pacer. I agreed, knowing that if it wasn’t me, someone else would be removed from the lineup. It was harder than I expected to not paddle in the race after so much preparation. Nonetheless, it was incredible to be part of the experience. These boats and races are featured prominently in Okinawan history and art, and it was an honor to take part in this annual tradition.

 

In June, we switched to “Summer Dragons” for sabani boat racing. These 10-person boats meant different lineups for multiple races through the summer, a different paddling technique, and opportunities to actually be in a boat during practice, rather than standing or on a dock. I took part in three races and was able to support the team for three others. Our final sabani race was held September 17, though we continued to have team activities and gatherings through the fall.

 

Being part of this team has greatly enhanced my community and my fitness. While I am unsure if I will participate in the coming season, I hope to continue nurturing many of the relationships born from this team. In January, I’ll be among a group of 8 taking a trip to Ishigaki—an Okinawan Island near Taiwan—to take part in a 10K. I’m looking forward to this girls’ trip and many more adventures with these inspiring women.

 

Community Engagement & Personal Pursuits

While I’m not as immersed in the local community as I’d like, there is no shortage of opportunities within the military community. I joined a concert-style band made up mostly of civilian teachers in the DODEA system. I’ve been able to play in 3 performances, and it’s been a low-demand, high-reward addition to my life. I’ve enjoyed re-acquainting myself with percussion instruments and ensemble music.

 

Two fellow band members asked me to pet-sit their two cats and house-sit their gorgeous 9^th-floor apartment overlooking the ocean during their trip Stateside. As a side benefit, this month in my “vacation home” gave me the perfect hosting space for my mom, who made a weeklong trip over the 4^th of July. I was able to introduce her to some of my friends and coworkers, show her the spaces where I spend my time, and have some fun adventures—beachcombing for sea glass, snorkeling, and visiting castle ruins and museums. We even experienced some Okinawa nightlife with the dragon boat women for a teammate’s farewell outing. It was a quick but fruitful visit, and I’m grateful she was game to make the trip.

 

During the summer, I obtained my PADI open water dive certification with some extra assistance and extra time, as I initially found breathing through the regulator anxiety-producing. I’m grateful I stuck with it, as I've been on a couple of spectacular dives and can’t wait to keep exploring the plentiful views of coral and sea life here. 

I also joined an informal hiking group with an intrepid leader who plans weekly routes. Oki has incredible views and I look forward to continued treks with this ever-changing group of active outdoor enthusiasts. I bought a Stand-Up Paddle board and have enjoyed SUPping with friends; I entered a SUP Cup fun race and took second in the women's division. I also began taking aerial yoga in the fall. Look forward to seeing me as a P!nk backup aerial dancer any day now.

 

 

Feeling well-conditioned from dragon boat training, I completed my annual physical readiness test in mid-May, scoring “Outstanding High” – meaning I obtained the highest points possible in each component (plank, pushups, and rowing). It was my first opportunity to choose a non-running cardio option for my PRT; not running allowed me to surpass my previous performances, points-wise. Maintaining physical fitness was one of the things that attracted me to the military; when I first applied to the Navy, I worked hard to ensure I could simply pass the minimum requirements. It is rewarding to know that I am now capable of meeting the highest expectations of my age and gender peers. Repeating the performance this year will take significant effort, and I look forward to continuing to pushing myself. My directorate recently completed a Ragnar-style relay from Cape Hedo to Cape Kyan, running the length of the island from north to south. My legs of the run added up to ~17 miles, more than I planned. No doubt we’ll be doing it again soon. 

 

  

 

Volunteering is an important part of Navy culture, and tracking it is important for career advancement. It’s also great fun and a wonderful way to be civically engaged. I’m a Team Lead at our base USO; there are also tons of one-off options, so I’ve had great fun cleaning up beaches, timing swim meet races, providing corpsman coverage for range weapons qualifications or base community events, organizing thrift store inventory, donating blood, supporting command events, transporting food for the base pantry, and more.

 

I’ve amassed art supplies but haven’t established a painting practice yet, though I’ve been able to make several pieces through classes and events at the USO and Single Marine Program (a community space for unaccompanied active duty folks). I purchased a ukulele but haven’t learned much yet—and am open to FaceTime lessons if anyone wants to connect. I’m slowly, slowly picking up some Japanese characters, and my goal is to recognize hiragana and katakana, at least, though my personal deadline for doing so keeps shifting. My Japanese is woefully inadequate; once I can read the characters, I think the aural version will make more sense for me. In short—I’ve no shortage of goals and pursuits for my spare time.

 

Dating

One of the biggest differences in this chapter of my life from those that came before is in the pursuit of partnership. American men dating and marrying Japanese/Okinawan women is common, but the reverse is not; I’ve not dated anyone local. Nonetheless, I’m on an island with 20,000 Marines: mostly young, fit, unmarried men. More rotate in and out on 6-month deployments to the area. Not to be outdone, plenty of sailors, airmen, and soldiers fill the ranks of contenders in the dating game. It’s an exhilarating place to be a single woman; I can exhaust the options in my age/distance parameters on a dating app, and sign on the next day to find a host of new faces ripe for swiping.

 

As a result, I’ve had dates or romantic encounters with 25 (!) different people in the past year. It’s made for many first and second dates. Almost all of them were a perfectly pleasant few hours of my life: a coffee, a dinner, a hike, a walk along the beach; in one case, an impromptu spelunking trip to caves on some remote part of the island. A few of those people have become close friends, and we continue to spend time together and enhance each other’s lives. 

 

One might think I’m living my best cougar life. And, in a way, I am. It’s strange to have so many options after years of the opposite. I barely dated in high school or college. I had only one or two significant relationships in my 20s. My yearlong relationship at 36 was the most substantial one of my life, and even it began with a likely expiration date as I planned to join the Navy. My attempts at dating post-boot camp and pre-Okinawa were, as I stated last year, a nightmare (Sailors) and an uninspiring but refreshing breath of non-Navy air (civilians).

 

It’s fun to meet new people, to share new experiences. It’s fun to have people interested in you. It’s fun to be found attractive. I’m still overcoming long-held, insidiously buried core beliefs about my own desirability. I’m still learning how to share the whole me—the parts of me I keep tucked away at work because they don’t serve me in my current rank and role. In many ways, this series of dating adventures has been enriching.

 

In other ways, it has been draining. I have no doubt been the villain in the stories of people who wanted to pursue more with me than I with them. I have added names to my own list of villains—those who stood me up or left me feeling toyed with, dropped, discarded. Generally, there’s a mutual, tacit understanding that no romantic potential exists. While easier, that too can be tiresome, to keep trying and hoping for something so evasive.

 

After one first date this fall, a man shared his surprise at how I described my relationship history (or lack thereof). He had assumed, due to my age and single-ness, that I eschewed commitment, enjoyed being untethered, and wanted to date casually indefinitely. After we met, he said, he realized he’d been wrong: that I have a “young heart,” that I am someone who always wanted to find love but simply hadn’t yet. He was right.

 

With only one of those 25 people did I sense that the stars might be aligning, did I see the shimmer of possibility. The immediate ease, the desire for conversation to continue without end, the comfort of holding and being held, a whole world blossoming with promise and opportunity. The taste of hope. In one intimate moment, he reflected, in awe, “It’s actually happening.” It felt like it was.

 

But it was an eclipse. A cosmic phenomenon: very real, but finite. Powerful but temporary. A delicious moment sipped away (as Taylor Swift would say) like a bottle of wine.

 

So then what? I cried, cursed, reflected, wrote, shared, forgave, healed. I hold on to what I have with gratitude. I stay curious about the story still to be written.

 

It’s hard to be searching for something that so many people seem to find so easily. But my, what a scavenger hunt it’s been.

 

Family

I’m very fortunate to be able to stay in touch with loved ones at home via FaceTime, Snapchat, and other apps. My nephews are growing up, and I’ve enjoyed watching some of their concerts and competitions via YouTube—an aftereffect of Covid times. My niece Claire is a spunky, almost-two-year-old, whose extensive vocabulary includes “Hi Andrea,” “Happy Holidays,” “See ya! Love ya!” and “Touchdown, Jackrabbits!” She’s excited to become a big sister in about month. As a firstborn daughter myself, I feel a special kinship with her.

My parents and siblings are all healthy and busy with work and family. Becky has experienced some struggles moving to a group home environment, but we have faith in her. I’m grateful to my mom and sisters for the heavy lifting they are doing to help manage the bumps in this transition. Jim keeps working hard and love his cat Sardine & pup Bear; Anne & Evan are in their second year of marriage and preparing for a big move this summer. Bryce & Ronda and Alex & Beth have meaningful careers and hobbies while being great parents. A special shout-out to Michael and Megan, who became engaged this fall; Megan’s been part of the family for years, and we’re delighted she’ll be sticking around permanently. 

 

The Sutton-Talleys experienced major changes this year, adding a younger brother to the family (who is one year and one day younger than Nalerie), moving to North Dakota, and starting new jobs. Their home in Greeley held much meaning and memory for me, so it was bittersweet to watch them leave it behind, but I am so excited for this chapter and their closer proximity to almost everyone in the extended family, including my parents and siblings. Three years ago, it would have hurt my heart to even imagine being thousands of miles from baby girl, but so far, so good. I love FaceTiming their family, watching them grow, and sharing bits of Okinawa with them through letters and packages. I hope that in some small way, I’m planting seeds of curiosity about the world in Isaac, Nalerie, and Soren, as my parents did in me.

Hopes for 2024

I am honored to serve the United States and simultaneously grateful to be distant from the ongoing chaos. I am hopeful that we will figure it out and emerge a better nation in the days ahead. I’m saddened by the global conflict that seems unceasing. I’m reminded that even routine military service has dangers; the recent loss of the crew of Gundam-22 weighs heavily here, as does the loss of one of our command’s Sailors by his own hand earlier this year.

 

The best I can hope for, perhaps selfishly, is to find meaning and purpose in each day, to rise to challenges as they are presented to me. I am looking forward to 2024: to beginning the naval studies courses, snorkeling, diving, aerial yoga/dancing, exploring, traveling. To investing in my community and expanding that to include more of Okinawa. Soon, I’ll be celebrating my 40^th birthday with my dad; I’m excited to have a few adventures together on the island! It’s strange to imagine myself as 40, an age that once seemed so…old. And yet, I think of friends who have left this earth, of those who never experienced life beyond youth. As a child, we had a small painted rock that had belonged to my Grandma Timmel. It read, “Never regret growing old…it is a privilege denied many.” I feel young and am grateful for the years I’ve had. I’m grateful for each day and every breath that lies before me.

 

Wishing you a 2024 filled with peace, adventure, and joy.

 

Love,

Andrea

 

 

2022 End-of-Year Reflection

Friends, near & far: 

Happy 2023! I hope that the Year of the Rabbit is off to a pleasant start to you; I know that it is for the SDSU Jackrabbits, who’ve recently returned from Frisco, TX with a shiny championship title. (My niece Claire was present, and while we can’t prove causation, we can’t disprove it, either.) 

I’ve been musing about priorities. Perhaps they aren’t something we choose so much as something that reveal themselves to us. I’ve been thinking about crafting holiday postcards and writing my annual update since shortly after I arrived in Okinawa on November 19th, yet nearly two months later, nothing has yet emerged. At any point, reading, exploring, settling in, putting together holiday packages, going on tours, and the minutiae of daily life have simply taken precedence. Still, there are tasks that are challenging to begin, but that provide a great sense of accomplishment once completed. I think I’ve accepted that the window for a mass holiday greeting—even for Lunar New Year—has passed. The time involved in creating artwork, finding a print shop, making it to the post office across base in time to buy stamps, and so on just hasn’t appealed to me over the past few weeks, and so perhaps I’ll instead try to work ahead for next year. Still, I greatly value the task of reflecting on my year. Even more, I value looking back at past years’ summaries. I’ve been writing a “Christmas letter” or end-of-year reflection for over a decade, many of them posted to the blog I kept during my 2011-2013 Peace Corps service, and it would be a shame to miss this year because I was too enthralled with a book or my cozy bed to make the time. So, in perhaps my tardiest year-end update ever, let’s begin. 

2022 has been marked by my continued transition into the Navy. I originally enlisted (or “DEP’ed in,” entered into the Delayed Entry Program) on 02 June 2021. I officially enlisted and flew to Recruit Training Command in Great Lakes, Illinois, to begin basic training on 07 September 2021. I graduated 10 November and began orientation for Hospital Corpsman Basic (“Corps School”) a week later at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas. Having tested positive for Covid in January 2022, I moved from Class 040 to a class three weeks behind, Class 055, and completed HCB on 07 April. I began Behavioral Health Tech School later that month, on 27 April, and graduated 11 August. Though my training obligations had been completed—and completed well, as I exceeded my goals and graduated all three programs as the top of the class—my orders were kicked back for funding/administrative issues, and I spent another two months at Fort Sam awaiting orders and departure details. I detached from NMTSC (Navy Medicine Training Support Center) on 15 October. I spent 01 November – 17 November at the Transient Processing Unit at Puget Sound, perhaps the Navy’s smallest command, and checked in to my current command, NMRTC (Navy Medicine Training & Readiness Command), at the United States Navy Hospital in Okinawa, Japan, on 19 November. 

In short: I spent nearly a year at Fort Sam, and I’ve been at my first “real Navy” command in Okinawa as a Hospital Corpsman Behavioral Health Technician for just under two months.

After completing the Tactical Combat Casualty Care final practical exam

A Corps school friend supporting my BHT graduation

I wrote last year that the transition to Corps School was difficult. It got better. As time went on, we were given more freedom. I met a lot of interesting people. I learned a lot. I was in charge of the A-school choir for a short while and proud of what we accomplished. I attempted dating in the military (a nightmare, one chapter after another). I attempted dating outside of the military (uninspiring, but the source of some nice “non-Navy air,” friends with whom I could be my full self and for whom the Navy was just a small part of my identity). I explored base resources—including the Student Activity Center and its powerful massage chairs, a great library, a beautiful theatre with performances by a local company, and more—and experienced a lot of San Antonio. I got some Lyfts and rode some buses but mostly put a lot of miles on my feet. I was fortunate to feel safe and be able to explore museums and more almost every weekend when we had the freedom to do so.

San Antonio's Fiesta gave me an opportunity to represent the Navy in a parade, the day after I graduated from Corps School. It was one of my best Sailor experiences yet.

Sometimes Fort Sam did fun things on base!

Unfortunately, our time at Fort Sam was marred by an environment that was unnecessarily negative and restrictive. The curriculum did not meet its full potential, and massive amounts of time were poorly utilized. I found myself exhausted by how often our conversations revolved around what we didn’t like: rules we found stupid, disorganization, and poor morale in general. This felt like a place where we should be excited to be in the Navy, being paid to learn, being trained to excel at our next commands! Yet that was rarely the tone, and my whining didn’t help. At the end of my time, while in the Transient Monitoring Division awaiting orders, I had an opportunity to help orient newcomers to base and to create a proposal for some of the HCB leadership. I suggested the creation of a “Welcome Aboard” packet for students, and created prototypes of some of what it could include, like a list of base resources. I suggested ways to reframe the experience without changing a single rule but instead connecting the rules to training objectives to help Sailors feel a sense of belonging and purpose in their role as students at the command. I’ve no idea what, if anything, came of these suggestions. Nonetheless, after a year of complaining with my friends, it felt meaningful to give constructive input. 

In 2022, I took leave three times: • In April, to South Dakota to see my family and meet my new niece, Claire, the first child to my sister Beth & her husband Alex, and to California to rendezvous with a dear friend. • In August/September, to Colorado to spend time with Jacob, Nalerie, & Isaac (Andrew was away for military training), and to South Dakota celebrate the wedding of my sister Anne to Evan. • In October, to Florida, to catch up with numerous relatives on my maternal (Timmel) side, to Colorado to see friends & to go trick-or-treating with the full Sutton-Talley family, and again to South Dakota for a bonus trip before venturing overseas.

with Nalerie & Isaac, August 2022

Reunited  in California after 7.5 years!

Their very own uniforms & a healthy Army-Navy rivalry

With my parents, both military retirees, September 2022

Anne, Evan, & Leo, September 2022

Back: Caleb, Bryce, me, Isaac; Front: Asher, Ronda, Micah, September 2022

with Dad, September 2022

Becky, Anne, me, & Jim, October 2022

The cutest astronaut & Minnie Mouse around, October 2022

With little sailor girl Claire Bear, April 2022

with Aunt Marguerite & Uncle John, October 2022

Harvest! October 2022

Truth be told, this was more leave than I was entitled to, but it was an administrative error of the Navy, and everyone to whom I brought the matter told me it wouldn’t be corrected and to enjoy it. Enjoy it I did. While in Puget Sound, I also got to make a whirlwind weekend trip to Seattle, Washington & Portland, Oregon, catching up with many friends from past chapters of my life, meeting their spouses & partners and even stopping by my old home & office from 2013/2014. I left the US feeling very ready to live in a new country, buoyed by support and time well-spent with family and friends. 

I chose my orders to Okinawa. In early July, my BHT class got a list of billets, and we had one hour to sort them out amongst ourselves. It was a difficult conversation, as I had hoped everyone could be satisfied. We knew that ultimately, choosing would go in order of class GPA, and by the grace of a few decimal points on that particular day, I was fortunate to have first choice. On our list, Okinawa was the only overseas option, and ultimately I accepted the opportunity to take it. Needless to say, this type of setting and time limit is not how I usually make major life decisions. 

However, I’m delighted to be here. The US military has a complicated history in Okinawa, an island prefecture of Japan ~400 miles south of the mainland. If you’re interested in a thoughtful, well-researched book on this presence, I recommend Night in the American Village: Women in the Shadow of the U.S. Military Bases in Okinawa, by Akemi Johnson. I’m only two-thirds through, but it’s one of the best books I’ve read all year and is helping shape—and answer—my questions about my presence here. 

The first month was lonely; despite a very positive command culture, many holiday parties, and the communal nature of living in the barracks or BEQ (bachelor enlisted quarters), making friends is hard. It’s even harder when most of your peers in rank are 15-20 years younger than you. Still, I’m told that loneliness is a common experience here, and as a community-builder I’m curious to see how I can help change that for future newcomers.

With a Corps School friend at the Navy Hospital's command holiday party

A note about rank: I realize that to my non-military friends, I’ve simply joined the Navy and am overseas experiencing all the adventure that entails. Whether I’m a Commander or Seaman Apprentice means next to nothing to you; I’m just in the Navy. Yet it means a lot to those in the military; rank controls so much more than one’s salary. It dictates much about my life: what privileges and liberties I am permitted, whom I am allowed to interact with and in what ways. Inspections, curfew, even freedoms like buying a car, having visitors in my room or staying elsewhere overnight are all dictated by the Navy and related to rank. [Marriage is also heavily incentivized in the military. For example, sometimes the difference between a shared barracks room (subject to inspection by strangers) and a private off-base apartment is a simple little lifetime commitment to another human.] Rank isn’t everything, but it’s a lot. I entered as an E-3 due to my college degree and “picked up” E-4 (Petty Officer Third Class) upon my BHT graduation, a perk of my specific contract. This is advantageous, because it can take several years to become an E-4, especially as a Corpsman where advancement is competitive due to how numerous we are in the Navy. It’s still a very humble rank, however; my college peers who are or were in the Navy are generally O-4s, Lieutenant Commanders. I occupy a strange territory, and I’m still figuring it out day by day.

With HN Micono, one of my roommates from Fort Sam, whom I asked to "pin" me HM3 in my advancement ceremony. She's one of the Sailors I most respect & admire!

In another month, I’ll be able to seek permission to buy a car and, depending on barracks occupancy, submit a request to move off-base if I so choose. We shall see. I often feel trapped behind the fences—the sights and sounds of Okinawa close, yet far; the street just outside my window often inaccessible because the nearest open gate is a 30-minute walk. However, needing to rely on my feet and the base and local bus lines to explore is helping me get my bearings and build a mental map that will only be enhanced by the freedom and convenience a car and off-base housing would facilitate. 

I work in Outpatient Mental Health, which has two locations within our main hospital and also supports the Child and Adolescent Mental Health (CAMH) and Substance Abuse Rehabilitation Program (SARP) clinics across the street. I’ve had the opportunity to do a little bit of front desk/vitals work across these locations and am currently on a three-month rotation in SARP. I have an office and am excited to do actual BHT therapy work. It draws on my previous experience in all the ways I hoped it would, and I’m delighted to keep learning and growing in my clinical skillset. 

I’m also still finding my place in the command and larger community. This is challenging with my age and rank, but there are still so many options. Volunteering for base clean-ups and at the Marine Thrift Shop (a veritable treasure trove) is easy and enjoyable. We have a fabulous library, USO, Single Marine Program, Tours+, and of course movie theatre, bowling alley, and more—and that’s without leaving base. Okinawa is filled with historic sites, aquariums, shopping centers, hiking trails, beaches, and waterfalls. 1.5 million people live on this 66x8-mile island, so there are plenty of places to go and people to meet. Being stationed with the military in a country whose language I don’t speak—and must really go out of my way to learn—is a wildly different way of living in a foreign country, and one I’m not entirely comfortable embracing. I know I don’t want to be the American who buys all their groceries on base and goes to the same American bar every weekend. I am also accepting that I may never integrate in the way I did in Zambia or other locations overseas. I am hoping to find my own way. At work, this includes determining how best contribute as a BHT, as well as how I am involved in the command, such as teaching Basic Life Support or being part of the color guard. It also involves many decisions in my personal life. I’d love to take a class in aerial yoga (offered nearby) or to seek doula training. I plan to take advantage of world-class diving by becoming SCUBA certified in the coming months. I’m finding my way around the various bases on the island and figuring out how to appreciate acquaintances while searching for meaningful friendships.

Hiji Falls & my first hike in Oki!

Before writing this, I re-read last year’s update. Several things resonate nearly verbatim. I recently turned 39 in a barracks room, with no house, no car, no partner, and no children of my own, but with all my needs met, and with an overabundance of opportunity. I am very much still making sense of being in the Navy, grateful for the opportunities it is affording me and will bring in the future, but not oblivious to its history and role in warfare and destruction. As ever, Nalerie is the love of my life and is filling the role of “threenager” with spirit and spunk. Being able to talk with her about her beginnings “in my tummy” was one of the highlights of the past year. Our global climate is just as dangerous, but my individual life is full of love, hope, and joy, as I hope yours is.

 

There are no words!

August 2022

August 2022

Christmas 2022

I’m excited about the work I am doing, and will do, in Okinawa. Paraphrasing a gentleman in the library writer’s hour last week, “The puzzle pieces are on the table, and I want to see what picture emerges.” As ever, I’m hopeful to be part of a team that can respond efficiently and effectively in times of crisis. More importantly, perhaps, I hope that I can have a small part in proactively preventing crisis and helping people to thrive. 

Wishing you & yours all the best. 

Love, 

Andréa

2021 End-of-Year Reflection

 Happy New Year, friends!

First, a little housekeeping. You may have come upon this post after receiving a postcard that looked like this: 

If you're among my handful of nautically-inclined recipients, you likely noticed a gaffe: the common toast among sailors is "Fair winds and following seas," not the inverse. The error on the card was made in the original draft, caught, and fixed. Alas, in the process of getting the cards made (which somehow involved four copy shops, three buses, lots of walking, and multiple emails and phone calls), the erroneous image was printed. I'd like to say I chuckled and sent them off anyway. Instead I cried, cursed myself for not proofreading more carefully, made a few frustrated phone calls, and then sent them off anyway. My appreciation for grammatical and literary accuracy is exceeded by my aversion to the wasted time and money that reprinting would require.

Other housekeeping: my new address is Mayrose, Andrea, 3288 Corporal Johnson Unit 1692, Fort Sam Houston, TX 78234. Now on to my year-end reflection. Buckle in: I'm in isolation awaiting Covid test results after experiencing a few scattered symptoms, so I've got nothing but time.

In January 2021, I was living in Brookings, in an SDSU-owned furnished townhome. I was working as a coordinator for Quarantine & Isolation Housing for students on campus. I was dating a thoughtful gentleman, Chris, and awaiting delayed results on my application to be a Naval intelligence officer. (This is the "career pivot" I had alluded to, without naming, in last year's reflection.)

Updates: I transitioned back into a Residence Hall Director Role in February, leaving the gorgeous townhome for a cinder-block campus apartment and working in Young Hall for the remainder of the school year. This temporary-duty position allowed me to do a job I loved as a sprint, not a marathon, and despite the weirdness (and necessity) of Covid-19 restrictions, we were able to accomplish some great things, including an end-of-year volleyball tournament & picnic, and this student-designed (and largely executed) mural in our student lounge/kitchen:

I learned in January that my officer packet was not accepted, which was not a complete surprise, as the acceptance rate is often 20-30% for this role. After a few months of discussion & careful consideration, I enlisted in the Navy on June 2nd, with a "ship date" of September 7th.

My 15th college reunion was held online, and (naturally) took place the same week that I enlisted, wrapped up my role as an RHD, and moved out of my campus apartment. I had the great fortune to collaborate with classmate Aoife Spillane-Hinks and many others in hosting a virtual Memorial Service, and we were pleased with the space we were able to create to honor and remember the dear friends we've lost. I also attended or helped host a couple of other Reunion events, and while the low attendance surprised me, the quality of reconnection was valuable. 

After the reunion, I visited my brother Mike & his partner Megan near Kansas City, along with my dad, nephews, and sister Beth. We toured a U.S. Mint and the WWI Memorial. This image struck me and prompted my commentary: 

We also toured an agricultural "hall of fame" and spent some time at Megan's family's lake house.

I spent the summer again working remotely for Harvard's Secondary School Program, which was online for the second year. I was excited to try new programing efforts that challenged me a bit. I led a 5-part creative writing workshop that featured two guest authors with Harvard connections, a choreography collaboration that created movement to student-created music, several relaxed visual art sessions, a series of career panels, among other things. I also gave a presentation to FGLI (first-generation, low-income) college students about navigating the language and landscape of higher education. I enjoyed doing the online job in new ways.

However, when one has relied on work-provided housing, "working from home: means working from nowhere in particular, and it gave me the freedom to bounce around a bit. Chris bought a 3-bedroom home in April and traveled extensively throughout the summer, so we had a pretty symbiotic housekeeping relationship: I had a quiet, beautiful space in which to work, and in exchange I kept up with the lawn, garden, & housework while he was away. I also helped a bit with my mom & sister Becky's big transition from their Salem house to their Sioux Falls apartment, and I spent a week with Becky in the new apartment while my mom was traveling. Mom, Beth, Anne, & I formed Becky's entourage as we traveled together to Nashville in late July. There, Becky participated in the National "Miss Amazing" program, and it was a great weekend celebrating women with disabilities. (We had the good fortune to see Uncle Mike, Aunt Tawnya, my cousin Emma, and her boyfriend Corey, as well!)

Anne & Becky

August was a free month between Harvard and my forthcoming "2-month, taxpayer-funded fitness and education retreat," and I made the most of it. I spent a week in Colorado, visiting friends Emily, Katie, & Rachel, and of course Nalerie & the Sutton-Talley family. (I also spent a few days with them in February, and they stopped by my mom's apartment in July while in SD, so we are doing a pretty good job of finding ways to stay connected even in Covid times.)

Isaac, Jacob, Andrea, Nalerie, & Andrew

In other adventures, Chris & I had the nephews up for some hiking, trampoline fun at Air Madness, a sleepover & video games, and Wild Water West before they went back to school. 

Chris & I also made a trip to Wisconsin to see his family, complete with a stop at his sister & brother-in-law's restaurant, Manila, and a 3-sibling birthday party. It felt good to be vaccinated and able to make these trips with relative confidence.

August, and the summer in general, was also a time of preparation for basic training. I'd put on a few pounds and dropped them by my third full go at Whole 30. I highly recommend this program (paired with physical activity) if you need to lose weight in a healthy way. With my weight back within Navy regulations, I worked on running, pushups, and the plank. Since I was entering at age 37, the minimum requirements for these fitness were pretty forgiving, but I sure wasn't going to show up just to get sent home (or worse, set back in training) because I wasn't prepared to meet them. As part of the Delayed Entry Program, I had a manual of basic Navy knowledge with which I needed to familiarize myself, monthly meetings, and weekly check-ins with a recruiter to make sure I was on track.

There were other projects, too. I finished several paintings for friends and gave away many of the art supplies I'd accumulated so that they could be put to good use. In many ways, these last few weeks in August felt like I was closing a chapter: on my six years in South Dakota, my time at SDSU. I wanted to leave things in a good place.

An abstract triptych
inspired by the Sioux River

A collage for my friend's "lady wall"

A rapidly-completed portrait of my friend and
her second child

The "personal archive" reorganization that I undertook in Fall 2020 proved very useful as I secured a storage unit. Having a full inventory of my belongings, and having them organized in sturdy, stackable cases rather than the hodge-podge of storage bins they previously occupied, was very helpful not just when I left but when I returned home in December and selected a few civilian things to bring back with me to Texas.

On September 5th, we celebrated Bryce & Asher's birthdays and my departure. The next day, I reported to my Armed Services Career Center and was ushered off to the requisite pre-departure hotel stay. on September 7th, I officially (again) enlisted in the U.S. Navy. At that point, changing my mind would mean abandonment...and likely imprisonment.

Boot camp. How to describe it? It was so soft and easy in some ways, and so difficult in others. I was in a a"900 division," which performed for three graduation ceremonies, including our own. I played bells in the drumline, and I enjoyed beginning my Navy career with performance. The nine weeks included a lot of missed sleep, a lot of negativity, and a lot of time spent staring at the wall. That said, we also had some really cool hands-on training, which I enjoyed. (You can get an overview of the Navy basic training experience in this hourlong documentary, Making a Sailor.) Basic training is where you earn the uniform; I spent a lot of time trying to make sense of the Navy as an organization, and my place in it, as well as thinking of all those who have gone before me.

Somehow (and I credit Chris for this observation when we processed it afterward), despite all the tumult I was experiencing internally, I was still able to perform well. My scores in various boot camp tasks--tests, inspections, the physical fitness test, and the like--put me in the top 3% of my training group. Despite fumbling through an Awards Board, I was selected for the Military Excellence Award and recognized as the "finest of this group of graduates." I was awarded a Challenge Coin from the Commanding Officer, a Navy Club watch from the Admiral, and a handful of remarks from staff anytime I goofed in the last couple days of boot camp: "Aren't you supposed to be the #1 graduate?," for example, as I struggled to perform colors properly.

Seaman Mayrose, RTC Commanding Officer
Captain Sandin, & Rear Admiral Couture

Despite the strangeness of this award, I was pleased to make it through our last drumline performance without any horrible sour notes, and to salute the Captain and Admiral without any mistakes that would go viral and disgrace the Navy. If you've always wanted to watch a Navy boot camp graduation, pop some corn and enjoy the November 10, 2020 Navy Pass-in-Review Ceremony.

Mom, Beth, & Becky made the trip to Great Lakes to spend time with me during my two days of liberty. Afterward, my fellow future Hospital Corpsmen and Masters-at-Arms boarded a bus, headed to our flight, and then went right back to boot camp due to mechanical problems. (I felt bad for the staff who were due a weekend off after 8 weeks of training us, and who now had to babysit us until a new plan was made.) Four days later, we finally left boot camp for real, and I arrived in Fort Sam Houston, TX, to begin ~15 weeks of A-school, where I learn my job in the Navy. 

The transition was harder than I expected. On one hand, we were Sailors now. I had one roommate instead of 80; I showered alone behind a curtain, rather than with a dozen other women; I could walk around base alone; I could be in touch with family & friends through my phone; I could plan my sleep schedule to accommodate whatever early wake-up was needed. Still, it was hard to gauge the tone. Sometimes we were spoken to like humans; at other times, we were screamed at like we had been in boot camp. While in Phase 1 of training, we were restricted to base and could not wear civilian clothes. There's effectively no dating (since you can't leave, can't show affection in uniform and must always be in uniform, and can't be in any room other than your own), and there's no alcohol consumption even for those of age. The first few weeks of A school felt like prison, but it has gotten better over time. Though I would likely have enjoyed serving as an officer, I think the Hospital Corps umbrella suits me better. I suspect that I'll be less likely to be tasked with anything that challenges my moral or ethical values, and I am enjoying what I'm learning. I'm often asked why I chose to enlist at my age, and it's a difficult question with a thousand answers.

It was also great to go home for a few short days, with stops in Sioux Falls, Salem, Brookings, & Vermillion. I was able to see almost everyone in my family, as well as the Sutton-Talleys, and 

 

My mom Pattie with Nalerie

Back: Alex & Beth, Caleb, Isaac, Pattie, Asher, Micah, Bryce, Michael
Front: Evan & Anne, Andrea, Becky, Jim, Ronda
Not pictured: Jerry, Megan

I was pleasantly surprised to find myself excited to return to base after my short Exodus. I opted to save some of my leave, and so I've had about 9 days back here to rest, study ahead in my schoolwork, go on outings provided by the USO. I am looking forward to getting back in the swing of things, making new friendships and continuing to develop my skillset as a Hospital Corpsman and in my specialty as a Behavioral Health Technician. (A-school will end in March, and my BHT C-School is 3-4 months, so I'll be here in San Antonio at least until June.)

I turn 38 in two days, in a barracks room, with no house, no car, no children of my own. That makes me an oddity both in the civilian world and in the military, and it's a strange feeling. I am still making sense of being in the Navy. I'm hopeful for the opportunities it will bring. Chris and I bade each other farewell with deep gratitude for our relationship and the mutual agreement that our paths don't align for a long-term future. I'm grateful to have him in my life as my closest friend. I adore watching Nalerie grow and develop and knowing that I not only conceived her, but conceived of her: imagined that she could exist long before she did. I'm excited to think about the places I might go in the Navy and the types of work I might do. It will be months before I know what orders are available, but it's fun to imagine providing mental or physical healthcare at the Naval Academy, on the Navy's hospital ships (the USS Comfort & Mercy), in Hawaii, or in Greece. If I had to choose today, those types of assignments would likely be near the top of my list.

I missed news in boot camp: having any connection to the outside world and what is happening. Then I emerged and realized perhaps it was better not to know. Our climate, both environmental and social, feels like a dangerous place. There is still a lot of love and hope and joy, and I'm grateful to have all my needs met. I expect there will be plenty of need for medical & mental health response everywhere in the coming years, and I'm hopeful to be part of a team that can respond efficiently and effectively in times of crisis.

Wishing you both seas and winds that take you in the directions you want to go this year,

Andrea